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~Dakine..HeX
Joined: 15 Sep 2000
Posts: 4062
Location: salt lake city |
hey so i got cheated on also!
found out on sunday that my now ex-girlfriend cheated on me when i was out of town for a business trip for 3 days. broke up with her. feels pretty bad man, but its an easy break because of how much she lied and lied and lied.
still feels bad tho
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Tue Mar 20, 2012 2:30 pm |
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hassan-i-sabbah
Joined: 10 Nov 2006
Posts: 27424
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im sorry friendo
_________________
quote:
Originally posted by turtleman
A normal person wouldn't say that in real life because it's ridiculous and insulting. Yet here you are spouting the most hateful garbage that your demons can muster out of your darkened soul. All because of the internet.
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Tue Mar 20, 2012 2:32 pm |
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~Dakine..HeX
Joined: 15 Sep 2000
Posts: 4062
Location: salt lake city |
i did find out upon coming to work today that my employer is taking me +3 dudes i work with to maui and las vegas for 3 weeks in may/june for training and some basically thinktanking. i knew the company had been planning a week or 2 long training thing to get on the same page, but i had figured it would be in salt lake. nope, hawaii, and then las vegas for the last 4 days.
so THAT is pretty sweet though, expenses paid except for my food and personal expenses
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Tue Mar 20, 2012 2:41 pm |
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Fast Luck
Joined: 11 Oct 2001
Posts: 22805
Location: Penis |
Strange how relationships could be so simple but instead end up being so difficult. humans just suck a lot of time. i got pity for cheaters because their lives would be happier if they could just be
content
and they shouldn't have to fake it, but also theyre sometimes to blame for not finding contentment and always to blame for handling things in a hurtful dishonest way. sorry dakine
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Tue Mar 20, 2012 2:44 pm |
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$paCe
Joined: 23 Feb 2010
Posts: 4911
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hey dude hit me up when you get to vegas
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Tue Mar 20, 2012 2:45 pm |
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peponi
Joined: 21 Feb 2012
Posts: 103
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Sorry 
When you found out were you completely shocked or was it not a surprise ?
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Tue Mar 20, 2012 2:53 pm |
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Kith-Kanin
Joined: 15 Sep 2000
Posts: 4449
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quote:
Originally posted by Fast Luck
Strange how relationships could be so simple but instead end up being so difficult. humans just suck a lot of time. i got pity for cheaters because their lives would be happier if they could just be
content
and they shouldn't have to fake it, but also theyre sometimes to blame for not finding contentment and always to blame for handling things in a hurtful dishonest way. sorry dakine
I think in the case of a lot of people, the ones who don't see it coming, it has to do with settling and curiousity. People settle with someone just because it's convenient then when something better comes along they're off doing whatever. Others I think haven't experience enough in life and just get bored and curious.
Then there's others that are just plain whores and it's not unexpected when you find out they're cheating.
And then there's Allstars case where he admitted being out of town a lot and his wife was probably lonely.
But it all does come back to what you said Blid, in handling it dishonestly.
Sorry Dakine, but least it seems you get a nice trip to forget about it.
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Tue Mar 20, 2012 2:57 pm |
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~Dakine..HeX
Joined: 15 Sep 2000
Posts: 4062
Location: salt lake city |
peponi: i wasnt shocked because she had been acting erratically since i came back from my trip and we had been arguing about little stuff that we never have issues with. I had a lump in my stomach and started to suspect something and within a week it all came out.
space: uh maybe
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Tue Mar 20, 2012 4:38 pm |
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$paCe
Joined: 23 Feb 2010
Posts: 4911
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No maybes about it, just hit me up when you get to vegas.
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Tue Mar 20, 2012 4:40 pm |
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Soilent Green
Joined: 26 Feb 2004
Posts: 765
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quote:
Originally posted by ~Dakine..HeX
found out on sunday that my now ex-girlfriend cheated on me when i was out of town for a business trip for 3 days. broke up with her. feels pretty bad man, but its an easy break because of how much she lied and lied and lied.
still feels bad tho
She pretty much did you a favor IMO. Go to Maui and Vegas and have an awesome time as a single guy.
quote:
Originally posted by $paCe
No maybes about it, just hit me up when you get to vegas.
Yeah, Dakine, a normal guy with a seemingly good career wants to take time out of his business trip to hang out with a drugged out loser hillbilly rofl. Did you even think about this before writing it?
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Tue Mar 20, 2012 5:21 pm |
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$paCe
Joined: 23 Feb 2010
Posts: 4911
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You're kind of dumb huh? Hey dakine, forget this angry masterbater, hit me up bro. Actually I was hoping u were going to say that you would because I had a joke planned out, but it would be ruined now. I don't even live in vegas, oh wells.
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Tue Mar 20, 2012 5:31 pm |
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turtleman@can
Joined: 08 Apr 2003
Posts: 8841
Location: Canada |
that sucks dude
good news is : 99% of men in relationships wish they were you right now
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Tue Mar 20, 2012 8:31 pm |
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$paCe
Joined: 23 Feb 2010
Posts: 4911
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I'm not going to agree with that percentage. I think it's closer to 10%
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Tue Mar 20, 2012 8:35 pm |
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peponi
Joined: 21 Feb 2012
Posts: 103
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quote:
Originally posted by ~Dakine..HeX
peponi: i wasnt shocked because she had been acting erratically since i came back from my trip and we had been arguing about little stuff that we never have issues with. I had a lump in my stomach and started to suspect something and within a week it all came out.
Gah. Do you know what her reasons for it were?
I've always figured there were insights into a person's character that would let you know how important loyalty, honesty, faithfulness and meaning are to them, but maybe I'm just naive.
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Tue Mar 20, 2012 8:43 pm |
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hassan-i-sabbah
Joined: 10 Nov 2006
Posts: 27424
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quote:
Originally posted by turtleman@can
that sucks dude
good news is : 99% of men in relationships wish they were you right now
don't project your own miserable relationship onto other relationship-havers plz
_________________
quote:
Originally posted by turtleman
A normal person wouldn't say that in real life because it's ridiculous and insulting. Yet here you are spouting the most hateful garbage that your demons can muster out of your darkened soul. All because of the internet.
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Tue Mar 20, 2012 8:44 pm |
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turtleman@can
Joined: 08 Apr 2003
Posts: 8841
Location: Canada |
men are not meant to be monogamous, it's a scientific fact. Got nothing to do with your emotional attachment to a woman - it's that you subconsciously look for signs of attraction when you first meet somebody.
not saying that 99% of men want to end their relationships - but 99% (or however percent of men have functioning dicks) wish they could fuck every attractive girl they meet.
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Tue Mar 20, 2012 8:52 pm |
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$paCe
Joined: 23 Feb 2010
Posts: 4911
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That's if you're ruled by your penis. But yeah, that was a more accurate statement.
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Tue Mar 20, 2012 8:56 pm |
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Fast Luck
Joined: 11 Oct 2001
Posts: 22805
Location: Penis |
quote:
Originally posted by turtleman@can
men are not meant to be monogamous, it's a scientific fact. Got nothing to do with your emotional attachment to a woman - it's that you subconsciously look for signs of attraction when you first meet somebody.
not saying that 99% of men want to end their relationships - but 99% (or however percent of men have functioning dicks) wish they could fuck every attractive girl they meet.
are you saying that dakine's girlfriend is a man
_________________
i zero bagged your mother
quote:
Originally posted by Fast Luck
hassan-i-asher: majorin in takin pictures
dreamin bout wayne from catalina wine mixers
listen little friend stay outta the deep end
cuz you're less street than vampire weekend
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Tue Mar 20, 2012 8:57 pm |
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$paCe
Joined: 23 Feb 2010
Posts: 4911
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ahh snap, throat fucked. Both dakine and swift have lots to discuss
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Tue Mar 20, 2012 8:58 pm |
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peponi
Joined: 21 Feb 2012
Posts: 103
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quote:
Originally posted by turtleman@can
men are not meant to be monogamous, it's a scientific fact.
It's not a fact.
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Tue Mar 20, 2012 8:59 pm |
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turtleman@can
Joined: 08 Apr 2003
Posts: 8841
Location: Canada |
quote:
Originally posted by Fast Luck
quote:
Originally posted by turtleman@can
men are not meant to be monogamous, it's a scientific fact. Got nothing to do with your emotional attachment to a woman - it's that you subconsciously look for signs of attraction when you first meet somebody.
not saying that 99% of men want to end their relationships - but 99% (or however percent of men have functioning dicks) wish they could fuck every attractive girl they meet.
are you saying that dakine's girlfriend is a man
lol wut
no, you miss my point - I'm saying Dakine shouldn't be in the dumps over this.
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Tue Mar 20, 2012 9:01 pm |
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~Dakine..HeX
Joined: 15 Sep 2000
Posts: 4062
Location: salt lake city |
quote:
Originally posted by peponi
quote:
Originally posted by ~Dakine..HeX
peponi: i wasnt shocked because she had been acting erratically since i came back from my trip and we had been arguing about little stuff that we never have issues with. I had a lump in my stomach and started to suspect something and within a week it all came out.
Gah. Do you know what her reasons for it were?
I've always figured there were insights into a person's character that would let you know how important loyalty, honesty, faithfulness and meaning are to them, but maybe I'm just naive.
her reasons? she didnt have any, she regrets it completely and says its the worst thing she couldve ever done to the best thing that shes ever had.
so she came over tonight to pick up some of her stuff and we talked a little bit. she says she loves me more than anything and i never did anything wrong in the relationship, that i shouldnt second guess anything I did. She said shes going to get psychiatric help to try to find out why she acted out and why she feels suicidal thoughts (when we broke up she wanted to cut herself and her sister and I were going to take her to the hospital). She says that she has had self esteem issues her whole life (i knew this) and that being with me was the most positive influence shes ever had, she was at a better state with me than she ever thought she could be (its true, she grew a lot), so she doesnt know why she did what she did but obviously feels deep regret for ruining a truly loving relationship.
she said she called the other dude and told him that shes not going to be able to talk to him or see him, and shes moving in with 2 of her female work friends, which is great for--her closer to her job and they will take care of her.
she cares about me and she has shown true remorse and a willingness to try to "fix" her issues with herself, so we decided that when I come back from my trip to hawaii, we will go out for a cup of coffee or something and see whats going on. Shes said shes going to be single and just try to work on herself for awhile, which obviously I feel is a requirement for us to meet up in the future (i dont want to get a cup of coffee with her in 3 months if shes still seeing this dude, duh?). For my part, im feel no obligation to be celibate, and I told her as much--but I also told her that I really have no interest in trying to pick up women right now, which is kind of expected.
so as it stands, in 3 months we'll meet and talk and catch up and who knows from there. She wants to be the girlfriend that I deserve, and I want to give her that opportunity, but I need to protect myself and she knows that.
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Tue Mar 20, 2012 9:04 pm |
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Fast Luck
Joined: 11 Oct 2001
Posts: 22805
Location: Penis |
i dont know how serious you guys were but that sounds pretty sad. i think it all hinges on the other dude and if she's being honest about it. like is he just some guy that she "acted out" with or was there something more going on there she's trying to minimize. ill probably be the only one to say this but i dont think you necessarily need to end it with her and 3 months seems like an overly long penance for her. it all depends of course on all sorts of things i cant ever know, including whether you can see her the same (or same enough) after this for example.
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Tue Mar 20, 2012 9:10 pm |
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$paCe
Joined: 23 Feb 2010
Posts: 4911
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The merciful will receive mercy. Good on you dakine, I would have a hard time taking her back because of my pride. That and I have never been cheated on because I'm a chick magnet.
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Tue Mar 20, 2012 9:24 pm |
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turtleman@can
Joined: 08 Apr 2003
Posts: 8841
Location: Canada |
I wouldn't be able to trust a girl who had cheated on me.. I am sure that you could get beyond it but I'd always have that lingering thought in the back of my mind. But she did tell you up front about it - that helps a lot.
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Tue Mar 20, 2012 9:28 pm |
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$paCe
Joined: 23 Feb 2010
Posts: 4911
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Yeah me neither, to my shame I admit that. If Dakine follows through, and takes the lead to repair the relationship, and she learns her lesson, then she'll be eternally grateful and loyal. Not to be a bible basher, but there is wisdom in the scripture "Those who are forgiven much love much"
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Tue Mar 20, 2012 9:36 pm |
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~Dakine..HeX
Joined: 15 Sep 2000
Posts: 4062
Location: salt lake city |
quote:
Originally posted by Fast Luck
i dont know how serious you guys were but that sounds pretty sad. i think it all hinges on the other dude and if she's being honest about it. like is he just some guy that she "acted out" with or was there something more going on there she's trying to minimize. ill probably be the only one to say this but i dont think you necessarily need to end it with her and 3 months seems like an overly long penance for her. it all depends of course on all sorts of things i cant ever know, including whether you can see her the same (or same enough) after this for example.
well i think there was something more, she was attracted to this guy and saw him everyday at work. Also they snowboarded together a bunch after work (she gets off at noon most days, morning shift @ a restaurant in a ski lodge). So she definitely did develop feelings for this guy that was more than a one time acting out.
This is a major problem, and why I cant see her again if she continues to talk to this guy or see him at all. They will see eachother at work, because he works valet for the lodge. She told me that she wants nothing to do with him and it makes her feel sick when she sees him @ the door at work. Of course, this sucks for me, but meh i think shes telling the truth here.
So she needs this three months, and she needs to stay away from this guy, but judging from her reaction to this whole episode I do believe that she will be single and celibate for this time--she wants and needs to be alone and be happy with herself if she ever wants to be in a healthy relationship (at least with me). Obviously I will have no true way of knowing what shes been up to for the next 3 months, so when I do see her in the future believe me I will proceed with caution.
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Tue Mar 20, 2012 9:40 pm |
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hassan-i-sabbah
Joined: 10 Nov 2006
Posts: 27424
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quote:
Originally posted by turtleman@can
men are not meant to be monogamous, it's a scientific fact. Got nothing to do with your emotional attachment to a woman - it's that you subconsciously look for signs of attraction when you first meet somebody.
not saying that 99% of men want to end their relationships - but 99% (or however percent of men have functioning dicks) wish they could fuck every attractive girl they meet.
you're a fucking idiot lol
"scientific fact"
_________________
quote:
Originally posted by turtleman
A normal person wouldn't say that in real life because it's ridiculous and insulting. Yet here you are spouting the most hateful garbage that your demons can muster out of your darkened soul. All because of the internet.
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Wed Mar 21, 2012 5:46 am |
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SoCzNedoK
Joined: 03 Jul 2005
Posts: 2332
Location: Rock Hill, SC |
sorry to hear dude, at least you guys didn't have any kids or marriage to complicate it further, its good you found out what she was capable of early on. my advice would be just to move on, when my ex cheated on me she also did that whole "i need help, im suicidal" thing, but then shortly after that phase she started justifying it and it turned into "it was your fault i cheated, and i bet you did too!". so basically yeah she might feel bad right now but give her some time and she probably wont feel as remorseful about it.
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Wed Mar 21, 2012 8:16 am |
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