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Axolotl's quick preface
Most of you have probably read this infamous rant by Sypher. It has been posted on 24-7's forums, and mine also. I am putting it on this page because: not only do I agree with most of it, but it also puts a funny twist on things by using their literal meanings. So here you go, Sypher's thoughts on 'laughing' acronyms.


The Problem with Inappropriate Chatroom Laughing
I've noticed recently, when I'm chatting, that people are often times compelled to "laugh out loud", or as we in the business call it, an "LoL". Now while this in itself is not a problem, it becomes one when it's not used correctly. I mean come on, how many of us actually sit facing a monitor, with all of your family behind you watching TV or something, and just start cracking up? That's what I thought. Nobody's going to make themselves look like an ass by pulling one of these. In my ENTIRE life, I may have actually laughed out loud maybe 10 times. This number is including like all 3 years I've been on AOL. Yet, with this in mind, I see at least 1,000 "lol"'s in a 15 minute span in a chat. I even catch myself doing it. LIARS!!! We are all lying to each other. Damnit I feel so artifical all of a sudden.

You know what really gets me though? I mean, I've already explained my premise, and I know you know what I'm talking about by now. But check this one out. Have you ever been talking in a chat about something you have? Anything you poses, in this case, let's say MP3s. You may say "yeah I got like 50 mp3s" right? Me personally, I have more like 220, but for the sake of things, let's say 50. Then everyone starts jumping in talking about how many they have, until one fool comes along and say this "lol I have 6 gigs of mp3s". Ok, first of all, I don't remember asking everyone how many mp3s they had. But here's the kicker: "lol I got like 6 gigs..." What the FUCK is he laughing about? Just sit for a second, and imaging some complete idiot going "HAHAHAHAHA I got 6 gigs of mp3s". I'm getting all upset over here that's so ridiculous. Just imagining somebody laughing about a comment like that makes me want to personally climb through 2 monitors and Lordy Jesus knows how many miles of telephone line, just to punch that faggot in his face. DAMNIT! That's got to be one of the dumbest things I've ever seen. I mean shit, when you stop and think, he sounds like he's retarded or something. Maybe a little off his rocker you know? Like one of those psycho villain guys from batman. This is just one example too. For some reason, stupid people seem to feel the need to laugh, before they make a statement about their possessions.

I have had to digressed to using the word "heh". The problem is, saying "heh" in real life sounds like you don't care at all, so I don't like saying it all the time, especially to my friends, who are very sensitive individuals. Check out what a friend had for me:

[Sypher] i have a question for you
[Sypher] what is your opinion of the use of the acronym "LOL"
[withheld] it's better than typing out ::laughin:: or "x made a funny! ha ha ha"
[Sypher] i see. do you feel it's losing it's effect?
[withheld] yeah. so are all these fucking idiots. but that's probably just me
[Sypher] you're not alone brother.
[Sypher] thank you for your time.
[withheld] no problem

SEE!!! It is better than typing "Sypher made a funny, hahaha." However, if you fucking dumb ass cockblocking individuals don't stop using "lol" all incorrectly, the rest of us cool people are going to have to kick your asses throught the phone lines. While I'm talking about "lol", I might as well get into "rofl", "lmao", "lmFao" and finally "roflmfao". Ok, for those 4 of you, on the ENTIRE planet who don't know what that gibberish means, it is this, in the same order: "roll on the floor laughing", "laughing my ass off", "laughing my FUCKING ass off", and finally, and sadly, "roll on the floor laughing my fucking ass off". Ok, what the fuck, is this Warner fucking Brothers? Walt damn Disney? Who the hell rolls on the floor EVER!?!? Let along when they're laughing? Let's be realistic here. Furthermore, laughing your ass off? Personally, I'd be upset if I was laughing, and my ass fell off. I mean, I use it a lot. That's not the worst though. Some people, are apparently, laughing their FUCKING asses off. Now, call me homophobic, but if I ever caught my ASS fucking, I'd be personally very upset. Now, what you all do with your asses on your time, is your business. However, if I EVER catch you trying laugh your fucking ass off with me in the room, I will give you the spanking of a lifetime. Yeah you mister! I'm not kidding at all here! Furthermore, it is my understanding that combining all of this shit, rolling on the floor laughing your ass off, you're basically having sex with yourself. I mean, your ass is fucking, and you're laughing, which means you're enjoying something right? Of course I'm right. So in conclusion, you sick bastards need to stay out of my face. Go pleasure yourself online. Optionally, cancel your ISP, take that $20 a month you'll save, and go to a damn strip bar and get a lap dance. Perverts.

-Sypher


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